Dealing with Depression and anxiety . July 4th, 2023.

Today I've got confirmation that I have what I have been telling myself for at least a couple of years. I have a form of depression and anxiety.I utilized Dr On Demand as I have done before. It was with doctor Bo Wu, a psyquiatry doctor. Dr Wu said, during this morning consultation that I would need more help to deal with this depression and prescribed some light doses of antidepressant Duloxetine (Cymbalta) normally used for Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)and musculoskeletal pain, and Hydroxyzine HCL 25mg for anxiety and insomnia. I went to my pharmacy at Walart on Austin Hwy to pick up the medications, then went to eat at Popeye's Chicken, I took my sweet time there, then went across the street to Goodwill store and something werid happenned. While I was browsing the few books on the shelves, this lady, whom I've never seen approached me from behind and said "looks like not many people read books anymore, judging by how empty these shelves look". I has seen her with corner of my eye and I replied that, well, is either that or people have bought a lot of these books, because, - I continued- last time I was here about a month ago, these shelves were full and employees could not find room to stock more of them. Then, the same lady who looked white, tall, with a motherly look and friendly smile asked me. "are you a philosophical person? And that caught me by surprise and I smiling replied, "ha, no, I wouldn't think that of myself, I like to read all genres including philosophy but I cannot understand, let alone digest philosophy, but I still like to read it. Then she started to get too close to me and put her hands on my crossed arms and said are you going through some kind of therapy, like with a psychologist or a counselor?, I'm sorry I don't know why I'm asking these questions, I am a nurse and also a psychic and I just sense that you're going through some pain, you don;t have to tell me anything, it's just that I see this aura over you. Are you a Christian, a catholic? I don't know but. . .wooooh (and she stepped a litle bit away, about three feet, and said "I see that the person who hurt you is trying to get near you, but you are blocking him, he wants to hug you but you don't let him near you". "I lost my husband to Covid a year and a half ago and I've found peace through meditation, yu shpud try it, it's like this, she stepped away again after having rested one of her hands on my still-crossed arms. I'm going to pause this narrative momentarily here, to point out that throughout these encounter I never felt threathened, even though she, at times got so close to my face that I could feel her breath right on my mouth and nose, but curiously, it was a clean and inodorous breath, her stance was never menacing, just the opposite, her presence was calming and disarming, I felt like I could trust her (?) I gasp, as I say this, I realize. I am either, a sucker for people that talk to me like that (because, a psycholigist would say that I am a person starving for love or friendship) and prone to be gullible and can fall victim to predatory behaviors of others. I don't know why, but I conceded that I had consuted -precisely today, no less- a psychiatrist to help me come to terms with some depression and anxiety issues. At one point, she asked me "Am I scaring you? Am I making you uncomfortable? and I answer yes, this is all too weird and yes I'm feeling I little uncomfortable talking to a stranger about personal things. She then said I'm sorry, but I've never met you and yet I felt the need to talk to you, I'm sorry that I'm making feel uncomfortable, I'll leave and as I walk away I'm just going to dissolve in the air and . . . she starts laughing and made me also laugh, that was funny, and designed to break the tension. I also noted that while I was talking to this lady, there was people walking near and around us both and never looked at us or say anything like "excuse me" to gain access to the book shelves that this lady and I were sort of blocking, I kept looking at other people to see if they would notice something weird, but it was as if we were invisible to their eyes. Weird. Now, she asked me if I had been traumatized as an adult or when I was a child and feeling that she was trustworthy (don't ask me why) I answered that it was as a child. She asked me then if the abuse had come from an uncle or . . . and I interupted her and said that I didn't want to say more and she said "okay, that's perfectly okay, I understand". At one point she said "Well, I dont have holy water buy I'm going to try my best to sever the dark aura that it's clinging to your back, it's been there for a long time, she made a motion as if to go into her purse that was in the shopping cart next to her but than as if getting a new idea, she said "I'm going to use my imaginary circular saw and cut off that black thing behind you and she made some motions behinf my back and she then said, "it's almost all gone but you are going to have to help me, and thought I'm not going to do anythinh that would look stupid and ridiculous in the middle of a Goodwill store. She then said that she felt like crying and that made me feel like I wanted to cry as well, so I said, "I got to go", she then said "You blame your mother right? Because she knew of the buse and she did nothing to stop it, right? At this moment I looked around, because I felt that she was reading my mind, she -pretty much- was getting inside my mind and I could not stop her from doing it, and so I said, "sorry I've got to go". And as I started to walked away, she said I'm going to pray for you. You are going to be okay, you are going to find peace after all these years, I just know it" I left and never looked back, exit the store, got in my car and drove home. While driving I tried to understand what had just happenned. What made that lady, a total stranger approach me and start debriefing me, with no right to do so? Was she really a psychic? Was I giving out some signals that made open to be read inside out? But, how can a person read another person thought's, did I fall for some weird prank? Was I the victim of a well-played prank? I must say that I took my first dose of the antidepressant just before going to eat. Was that encounter a product of my imagination? Was it real? Was that a byproduct of the medication, not likely, it takes time to take effect. Well, I'll stop here but I may come back later.